In taking care of a loved one we can get really caught up in keeping them safe, keeping them healthy, keeping the situation under control. Our goal sometimes becomes quantity of life over quality of life. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for life and life as long as possible. But I want life as good as possible as well.
I recall when my Pawpaw (grandfather) was about 85 years old; my mom bought him a ladder for Christmas. I was mortified for a moment. Then my Mom reminded me, “you’re the one that’s always talking about quality of life and risk worth taking. Besides, Pawpaw is going to get on a ladder whether I buy him a new one or not. I want it to be the best, sturdiest ladder possible”. My Pawpaw painted the entire exterior of his house that year, using that new ladder, with no feeling in his legs from the knees down. Mom was right. The old ladder Pawpaw had wasn’t fit for me to climb, but Pawpaw would have used it anyway. Painting his house 85 years young brought so much joy in my Pawpaw’s life. I’m thankful Mom had the foresight to give him the chance.
My Pawpaw’s story is a bit of an extreme case, but it fits him. Risk worth taking may require figuring out how to create normal life for your loved one. Did they love to fish but are now in a wheelchair? Take them fishing somewhere with a concrete path to the water or take a risk on wheeling through the grass. The funniest fall assessment I ever wrote up started with “resident slipped out of wheelchair when it ran into a hole going down the bank to the lake”. From his accidental seated position on the grass, the man laughed and asked for his fishing pole. Yes, it would have been unfortunate if he had broken his hip, but, had he done so, think of how much more fun he would have had telling his friends he broke it on a fishing trip than trying to get to the bathroom.
Other things to consider: maybe Mom doesn’t want to quit smoking (I’m not promoting smoking, just Mom’s right to choose), or occasionally allowing a loved one with swallowing issues to have a favorite food with more texture or a non-thickened drink.
Thanks for all the tips. Great reading. Any suggestion for a great moisturizer for “ old” skin?
It’s important for sure! I don’t have the miracle cure though. Mary Kay and Clinique are my favorites, but that’s just because everything else burns my face.
Love this article. Reminds me of the simple things in life that we take for granted. I remember when I had a patient that wanted to go to the bathroom. I took him into the bathroom and he sat on the toilet. I said, “I’m going to give you a few minutes to yourself.” He said, “I’m good, I just wanted to hear the toilet flush.” So simple but it meant the world to him. #RISKWORTHTAKING #KEEPBLOGING
It’s the small things that count. Thank you for reading
Congratulations 🎊🎈🎉 and best wishes on your new adventure!
Thank you!
This blog challenges me to look for more creative ways to spend time with my elderly father, rather than just taking care of the necessities. Thanks for your insight
Thank you!
Great blog on elder care